Every night before I close my eyes I glance out my window

Best Week

2006-10-06T19:22:59Z

This definitely has been an amazing week...

I just want to thank everyone who was apart of it...

Not to mention all the fine ladies I saw last night!

I love all of you hecka mucho!

Am I......

2006-03-04T03:41:49Z

Losing myself?

Sometimes..........

2006-03-02T03:39:09Z

Your Prince Charming really isn't as charming as he should be.

scaredfthdark17 @ 2005-11-01T22:07:00

2005-11-02T06:06:50Z

I want a cute boy....

scaredfthdark17 @ 2005-01-23T12:46:00

2005-01-23T20:51:42Z

The time has come...I am going to walk away and not look back

It was fun while it lasted...

And I won't let one tear fall for what could have been...

BITCHES

2004-11-09T03:58:44Z

THIS IS NINA REPORTING FOR DUTY:

Kat, Your journal has offically been PIMPED *pops collar*

Thank you for watching this episode of Pimp My LJ.

Yours Truly,
N to the Izza Nina

*~*PS- FRIENDS ONLY JOURNAL MUTHERFUCKERS*~*

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-11-01T21:21:00

2004-11-02T05:27:00Z

WHOA, these last two days were pretty cool. But I'll just tell you about today. I stayed home from school, so that was lame, then after school I went and picked everyone up from school, dropped them off, then went to pick up Krysti but her bro told me she wan't home so i went to vics for a lil bit, then she called and we went to MiMi's to talk to the manager. We should be getting a call wednesday or thrusday. Then I came home, went to julies hung out for a bit then headed home for food. After food I called Nina and ended up going to her house! I love that girl sooo much. We hung out and talked then went to Blakes he wasnt home so we hassled him while we drove to this hawt guy Tom's. Then we hung out with him, and took him back to Blake's where I peed on the street corner. :) Then took Tom home, dropped Nina off, and took Blake home. Just the hanging out with Nina again was sooo awesome. I swear I could be ready to die on my death bed and that girl will make it so I crack up laughing, and remember that I want to live. So I'll get up and go talk with her, instead of dying LOL

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-10-19T10:21:00

2004-10-19T17:28:06Z

hmmm....life is very uneventful. school to work to home.

I'm fasting for the next month, thought it would be a cool new thing to try. So far I'm doing good, even though it's only my second day. Have to get up at 4am to eat and brush my teeth.

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-09-18T22:38:00

2004-09-19T05:40:42Z

Hawt guys are everywhere...man there is one that I REALLLYYY wanna kiss, not nessacarily make-out with but kiss...then there is someone that I want to talk to more...maybe a possibility? Back to hawt nipple piercing guy...me and hicella are gonna cream ourselves!!!!

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-09-13T10:31:00

2004-09-13T17:37:11Z

Good moods are back...
But right now kinda in a weird one...
Talking to too many guys, and only one I really like, but I don't know if it's gonna happen...his bad mood affected mine a little...but I'm not gonna let it keep me down.

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-09-11T23:31:00

2004-09-12T06:32:06Z

"if you grew you hair out, got rid of your braces, and wore a lil make-up you'd be a real knock out"

okay...so let me change everything about me to look good for you </3

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-09-11T23:21:00

2004-09-12T06:23:52Z

Okay well my mood sux, but it's kinda cool cuz I'm becoming friends with someone I never thought I'd be friends with. :)

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-09-06T19:57:00

2004-09-07T02:59:34Z

Last night I got to hang out with him for like 2 hours. It was nice. We cuddled, kissed...a lot. And just had fun. I was goofy, he laughed, I smiled, we kissed. ~sigh~ it was great! Then he called me about an hour after we dropped him off. I was so relaxed the whole night. I can't wait til tomorrow so I can see him again. If it is only briefly. :)

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-09-02T22:25:00

2004-09-03T05:26:37Z

So I just got off the phone with this guy thats been giving me that happy goofy feeling, and sometimes he says something and my stomach just jumps. I feel so happy and goofy! I mean I go excited over a peak kiss!! How dorky am i? But I'm loving every minute of it!!

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-09-01T17:50:00

2004-09-02T00:51:40Z

Still goofy happy, and it is getting better. I hope this is for real. And I hope it lasts!

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-08-28T22:00:00

2004-08-29T05:01:06Z

i got that good happy goofy feeling...

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-08-24T20:33:00

2004-08-25T03:40:56Z

I haven't felt this alone in a long time. Like I have no one, I know it isn't true, but that's how I feel. I'm missing someone I shouldn't. And I really hate myself for that. I'm feeling things I shouldn't. I'm just being pulled in different directions, and if I'm not careful I'm gonna break.

I feel unwanted, alone, ugly and fat.

That really did hurt when my grandma said that :'(

</3

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-08-20T16:12:00

2004-08-20T23:15:13Z

aren't grandma's suppose to be sweet little old ladies who want to spoil their grandchildren?
I now know for a fact my grandma hates me. Because she always bought my sisters things when they went they, and went out of her way to do stff for them, and just ignored me when I came. And now she told my sister that I'm fat. I'm 5'3 and 121 lbs. my stomach barely sticks out! And she calls me fat. What a blow.

back in the picture after 2 years....

2004-07-26T01:50:49Z

So I saw you last night at Jack in the Box, damn do you look good! I was so excited. Then you called me today and I'm soo giddy. I can't wait to see you again. I hope everything goes like we said on sunday. I hope you really care. I miss you so much right now. Just thinking of you and I can't stop smiling.

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-07-21T22:11:00

2004-07-22T05:17:45Z

I hate the fact that I hurt you! It tears my heart in two. Seeing you this morning was nice, but then you told me you still think of me all the time...I'm soo sorry I love you but not that way. I wish I did but I don't and thats something I can't change.

Then there is him, everytime I talk to him I feel my heart skip a beat. Just the thought of seeing you makes me wanna skip and sing. I thought I was over this! DAMNIT....

So many mixd feelings and no time to sort them out....

new becomes old

2004-07-18T20:15:12Z

So it's not gonna work out with you, and I'm sorry for that. I thought something was there but I guess I was wrong...

Now there are a few I think are hawt and wanna just kiss and such. But at this point in time I don't want to become more then friends with any of them. But one in particular I'm having fun getting to know....and he is sooo innocent...adds to the sexiness.

Then there is someone who has been in my life for so long, and if he wasn't so far away I would want something more to happen. We talk on the phone and its kind of flirty like. I can't wait til I see him, and he sees me. We both have grown up so much since we last saw each other. He is my best friend. Whats better then falling for your best friend?

Life is looking better...:)

new

2004-07-12T04:10:59Z

awww your sooo cute....you make me feel so good...like two fridays ago when we just sat in your truck gooofing around....and like tuesday when you just held me the whole night cuz i was cold...and best of all last night where we stayed up all night cuddling and not even having to talk, just being silent and enjoying each other, well at least i was. I wish I could just lay with you like that again...it was just perfect.

I havent felt this relaxed liking a person since a friday night long ago in the coldness of january in the back of his car....

I've finally moved on

P.S. I saw him friday night at an after party....looking good...LOL

The graduate

2004-07-04T15:01:51Z

Today is the day I tell you how I really feel, no more b.s. just the outright truth...I don't want to hurt you, but you need to know. PLease don't say you understand when you really don't. I know you don't understand...no one does...I just know now is not the time for us to get involved. I love you I do, I care deeply for you, I want something to happen, but it cant happen now. I've been dropped and broken...I'm still trying to glue myself back together, and pieces are missing. When I can find those missing pieces I'll be at the crossroads...and it'll be time for me to make a choice...choose a path....when I know where I am going then mayve it'll be time for us....or maybe we just can't be...but either way I have to do this....

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-07-01T22:03:00

2004-07-02T05:06:46Z

I saw a boy today, he was a very good looking boy, all I wanted to do was get his attention so I could tell him I thought he was beautiful, but the moment passed me up and now he'll never what I thought...

Am I compromising myself just so I wont hurt you....?

scaredfthdark17 @ 2004-06-28T14:10:00

2004-06-28T21:12:14Z

I never knew I was beautiful til I looked at myself thru your eyes....

If everything were meant to be easy I'd get bored